18
Jun
09

SELF-ESTEEM SOCIETY vs PERFORMANCE DRIVEN

Okay Okay Okay…. Parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, anybody who will listen. Please stop turning children into little, entitled narcissists. PLEASE.  We are turning into a society that is so worried about self-esteem, that we are fucking up our children. We are rewarding kids for participating, when the reward should be the participation itself. Trophies and medals should go to the kids that excel and stand out! I’m sorry, every child is not equal. They just aren’t. When you give a kid a reward for participating, you are teaching them a bad lesson. “Just showing up gets you the glory.”  This is just not so. Because you feel like little Jonas will feel bad because he didn’t get an MVP award, your going to teach him to expect achievement without any work? The kids that are hard workers, and strive to be the best student or athlete should be recognized for that. This creates competition! I’m sorry, whole foods mom, that I used the “c” word. No I’m not sorry. COMPETITION!!! This isn’t a word that is going cripple your child. This is a good thing. Competition leads to many great things. If Wal-Mart didn’t have to compete with mom and pop (not really a competition), do you think Sam Walton would have been rolling back prices? Absolutely not! He would have been sticking it to you like Zed, Pulp Fiction style. A monopoly does not work. Competition always leads to a better product. Rewards that recognizes one for being great absolutely breeds competition. The kid that didn’t get the MVP might just work that much harder, to get that 100% on the spelling test.  In my eyes that kid has now become a better product. Nowadays people scoff at this. They tell their kids that they are special. “Everybody is special in his or her own way.” I mean come on, give me a break. When you say everbody is special, isn’t that just a way of saying nobody is really special? Kids are told they are special, and they become vain little blowhards(not a sexual reference). These narcissistic kids become older, and they can’t handle reality. They automatically have this type of self-serving bias. They give themselves excuses because, no they can’t be doing anything wrong. They are perfect. They are special. They can’t handle taking an insult, or being critisized. They become uncoachable. The kid with freak DNA, that gives him height and a jump shot, shouldn’t be told he is the best because he has talent. No No No… He needs to be told that he is the best because he worked at it. Look at these top level high school basketball players, that are basically treated like royalty their whole lives. They get to college, and major character issues arise, because they can’t be told anything. Telling somebody they are good does not breed hard work. It breeds complacency. When a person is complacent, they have no incentive to get better. We are a society that is promoting self-esteem over, performance. This is why basketball teams cut players. Only certain players have the ability to play on the team. This leads me to my next point. GOALS.  Being goal oriented is necessary to be successful.  There is a story, about a kid who got cut from his basketball team his junior year. This lit a fire in his ass that made him strive to be better. He vigorously practiced at his game and, made the team the next year. This person went on to become aruably the best basketball player in history. HIS AIRNESS MICHAEL JORDAN!!! I know what your thinking. “Jordan, cut from a high school team? Thats crazy.” It’s not crazy. Jordan was not told he was special, and automatically given a spot on the roster. He was told, “Work harder.” He needed that. It gave him a goal, and he achieved his goals through hard work. Had he not been cut, he never learns that lesson, and the Bulls don’t three peat twice. When a kid has the mindset he is special, what reason is there for him to practice? None, because he already hit the ceiling. Nowhere to go but down. This kid will not take on hard tasks, for fear of failure. They have never had to work for anything because they were already “special.” They attribute their achievments to being “special” and having talent. You want your child to attribute their success to hard work.  This gives them incentive to work hard, because they know when they work at things, they get better so they can achieve loftier goals.  The kid that won’t try to achieve loftier goals for fear of failure, is the one that really takes a hit to their self-esteem. The kid that works and fails, just works harder, and conquers his task. The kid that doesn’t work and fails, just sulks. Another thing. Kids are attaining the self-esteem before they have the skill. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t go challenge a world famous pianist to a piano off (?), before you’ve taken your first piano lesson. It takes more than self-esteem. It takes healthy self-esteem mixed with skill attained by working. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE! Parents these days are too nice. They congratulate their kids for taking a shit. I mean what the hell is that all about? Kids are now having a graduation for making it to the 6th grade. Let me reiterate. KIDS ARE NOW HAVING A GRADUATION FOR MAKING IT TO THE SIXTH GRADE!!! That shit should be expected, not rewarded. I mean it’s not an a achievment, it’s a requirement. You see this is why we are too damn nice. Our use of the, “overly nice you can’t fuck up” attitude, is teaching mediocrity. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have Simon Cowell teaching my kid, than Paula. Simon says ” you suck, get better or do something else.” Paula says, ” I really admire your confidence.” Thanks for waisting everybody’s time with that sentence. HE SUCKS! Tell him he sucks, so he can get back on a bus to Coffeville, AL, and he can get home and open a tire shop. Telling your kid “oh my god your the best”, isn’t giving them incentive to improve. Improvement is the goal, not complacency with one’s natural talents. A hard worker is in control of his success. An entitled narcissist is at the mercy of whether the task at hand is achievable with their talent. Make your kids believe that what they achieve is through work, not because the little prick is special. Here is a thought, the next time your going to compliment your youngest son on his jump shot, don’t tell him “wow your the best shooter I’ve seen bud.” Tell him ” boy, son I can tell you have been working on your jump shot. It’s looking great, but your brother was hitting a fadaway at your age.” (haha) Probably not the best experiment, but still interesting. So Parents sorry this was such a long winded lecture, that jumped all over the place, but the words were going straight from my mind to the page.  TELL YOUR KIDS, THEY ARE SPECIAL BECAUSE THEY HAVE WORK ETHIC. TEACH YOUR KIDS, WHY MICHAEL JORDAN WAS THE GREATEST.

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2 Responses to “SELF-ESTEEM SOCIETY vs PERFORMANCE DRIVEN”


  1. July 20, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    interesting material, where such topics do you find? I will often go


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